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Horse racing is still happening in some places despite the sports world largely on pause due to COVID-19, but racing’s biggest events — the three that make up the Triple Crown — will not go on as scheduled. The Kentucky Derby is scheduled to run on the first Saturday in September, not the first Saturday in May. But in its place on Saturday ran a virtual Derby consisting of 13 horses that went on to win the Triple Crown.

That race aired on NBC Saturday, with Secretariat unsurprisingly taking the digital crown.

Unlike iRacing, in which pro drivers are tackling a virtual version of digitally-mapped NASCAR tracks in real time, this virtual Kentucky Derby is largely simulations based on data algorithms and handicapping information to make a historical comparison between the horses. It was also a great way to keep tradition alive in a time where hosting a Derby in a packed Churchill Downs is simply impossible.

“The Kentucky Derby: Triple Crown Showdown” will follow the broadcast of the 2015 Kentucky Derby. The virtual race will be using data algorithms and historical handicapping information about each horse to determine the probability of each of their potential finishing positions.

Here are the full race results, if you need them.

Congratulations to Secretariat, who just can’t stop winning even though he died in 1989.

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I want this pimple gone, like, yesterday.

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“Nobody is cancelling Rose Byrne on my watch!”

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It must be so hard to quarantine in a mansion.

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Several tweets went viral that falsely claimed the CDC had drastically revised down the number of deaths in the US from the coronavirus — but it seems some people didn’t read to the end of the page.

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The NBA is moving closer and closer to some sort of resolution on restarting the 2019-20 season. Whenever that is determined — and it must be stressed, there no guarantee that we’re getting basketball despite everyone’s best intentions — players and teams will have to get back to training so that they’re in shape and ready to go when games start.

This could be a much longer process, however, for the players who haven’t been able to get shots up in a while. Giannis Antetokounmpo and Jayson Tatum have both expressed that they do not have hoops at home, while Khris Middleton has said he has to go to a neighbor if he wants to shoot around. According to a new report by The Athletic, some players have tried to fix this by circumventing rules put forth by local governments.

Via Sam Amick and Joe Vardon of The Athletic:

As of now, no player is allowed into his team’s facility or some other gym to work out. Development staffers are not supposed to be working with the players. If a player has a private gym at home, great. Many have said they do not. Others, according to multiple sources, are practicing secretly on their own at gyms that are supposed to be closed.

It’s a tough situation for any player to navigate. Beyond the fact that their livelihoods are tied to the ability to play basketball, the league is normally in the midst of the postseason right now, and players are just used to playing competitive basketball at this point in the calendar. Still, this is a risky move by whichever players are going out and getting shots up. Hopefully everyone who has done this stays healthy, doesn’t unknowingly spread COVID-19 to anyone and, of course, can figure out a solution that lets them knock off the rust without violating these various orders if the league does inch toward a real return.

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If your 2020 wasn’t already going poorly, a group of murder hornets are officially here to make it worse.

On Saturday the New York Times wrote a story about an invasive species that quickly went viral, and for good reason. The subject is the appearance of the asian giant hornet in the United States, a huge predatory insect that can decimate honeybee populations with deadly efficiency. They also look absolutely terrifying to humans because their queens can grow up to two inches long.

The article is an urgent case of scientists and beekeepers reacting to an invasive species that can cause real damage to an ecosystem. Basically, that metaphor in Season 1 of Ozark playing out in real time, but with honeybees this time. The details of what the hornets are and the damage the can cause, both to humans and bees alike, was a bit terrifying to say the least.

With queens that can grow to two inches long, Asian giant hornets can use mandibles shaped like spiked shark fins to wipe out a honeybee hive in a matter of hours, decapitating the bees and flying away with the thoraxes to feed their young. For larger targets, the hornet’s potent venom and stinger — long enough to puncture a beekeeping suit — make for an excruciating combination that victims have likened to hot metal driving into their skin.

In Japan, the hornets kill up to 50 people a year. Now, for the first time, they have arrived in the United States.

The whole thing is equal parts fascinating and horrifying, but in the current climate we live where people are trapped inside due to a pandemic, another sign of the endtimes arriving via giant pestilence was just too on the nose. The article drew plenty of reaction on Twitter, where the phrase “murder hornets” quickly started to trend.

The news made many long for a less chaotic but still terrible time. Like maybe a few years ago.

This may be yet another sign that the end times are near, but there is some hope in pitcher plants, which are really good at trapping these insects and murdering them by drowning them in fluid before they can murder other creatures. In conclusion: nature continues to be terrifying.