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Ken Jennings may be the best person to talk to about trivia in America, and how the show that made him famous has made its mark on the genre. The Jeopardy! GOAT won a million dollars earlier in 2020 by knocking off James Holzhauer and Brad Rutter in the Greatest Of All Time Tournament and has spent the months since putting the finishing touches on his new trivia board game, Half Truth.

Inevitably, Jennings is forever tied to the syndicated trivia game show that made him a household name in 2004 when he won 74 straight episodes and first set the record for the most earnings in show history. Last week, Jeopardy! aired his first appearance on the show in an attempt to bridge the gap between reruns now that the show is unable to tape. It’s a fun bit of nostalgia, but one that Jennings hopes does not need to cover the entirety of his run on regular Jeopardy!

“I hope that the shutdown does not last 74 more weeknights, that would really be terrible if they had time to do my whole run,” Jennings said in March. “I’d hope for America’s sake it does not come to that.”

The rest of the week featured replays of the GOAT tournament which Jennings joked was the last good thing to happen in 2020. But the trivia ace had plenty to say about how trivia has changed in the better because of Jeopardy! In writing questions for Half Truth, for example, Jennings had the difficult task of figuring out what questions are hard and what things most people know.

“I write for high school and college quiz bowl events, and you have to have a sense of what these kids already know, what they knew last time and if you do enough of it,” Jennings said. “You start to see the outlines of it like ‘this one’s hard but fair, this one’s just going to annoy people because they’ve never heard of it.’”

Quiz bowl is one thing, Jennings said, that because of its structure allows a question-maker a general framework for the content that people may already know. Writing Half Truth was a challenge because that structure wasn’t there, but knowing how those traditional formats impact what people know is an important part of the process.

“You have to have an idea in your head of not only what you know, you have to have a separate sense of what the culture’s trivia canon is,” he said. “In the same sense that a college course would have a philosophy canon. Or a poetry canon. We have to have some baseline trivia canon. And if you write a lot in this field, which I do, you do have a sense of it.”

Aside from Half Truth, Jennings has a quiz email he writes and has books about the genre as well, one of which actually inspired Magic the Gathering creator and board game designer Richard Garfield to reach out and pitch what became Half Truth. But Jennings said he owes Jeopardy! a great deal, starting with his notoriety but also what it’s done to trivia in general and what it’s changed about what people more commonly know.

“Jeopardy! has really shaped what Americans know, and it’s kind of self-perpetuating thing,” he said. “If Jeopardy! asks too much about Opera or the bible or whatever, that stuff stays in the trivia canon longer than it would otherwise.”

In creating Half Truth he spoke fondly of the trivia revival he grew up during — the return of Jeopardy! to syndication and the boom of trivia board games — and how that that influenced the many other versions of trivia that have come in the decades since.

“If you were an 80s kid, that mid-80s period where Jeopardy! came back on the air and then everyone got Trivial Pursuit for Christmas — that was huge for a kind of a geeky 10-year-old boy like me,” Jennings said.

Whether Half Truth can do the same to the genre right now remains unknown, but it’s clear the thought behind its creation will keep it interesting for trivia fans looking for that attention to detail.

Comics creator Rob Liefeld has never shied away from sharing his thoughts no matter how controversial or admittedly wrong they might be, and he’s staying true to form when it comes to Marvel recasting Wolverine.

In a new interview with Inverse, the Deadpool creator was asked for his thoughts on who should play the iconic clawed mutant when the X-Men are eventually rebooted for their MCU debut. Turns out Liefeld thinks there’s only one person who should portray Wolverine on the big screen, and it’s… Hugh Jackman. To qualify his remarks and reinforce how seriously he cares about the character being done right, Liefeld revealed that he’s so obsessed with Wolverine that it’s the only reason he even created Deadpool in the first place.

“I was only doing Deadpool to get to Wolverine. Like, Wolverine was always the goal. You understand Deadpool. He comes from the Weapon X program. He has a healing factor. He shares a history with Wolverine. Did I not just kind of put the blueprint down and lift it and go, ‘hello,’ and the whole time Marvel’s like, ‘Yeah, Rob, whatever you want. That’s good. Thumbs-up,’ and I’m like, ‘I can’t believe I’m getting to do this.’ So I can’t answer your question about Wolverine. I’m stuck on Hugh Jackman. I hope to god he comes back. I do. You know what? He’s been seriously firm that he is not going to be Wolverine, right? And I foolishly don’t believe him.”

Of course, as Liefeld notes, Jackman has made it repeatedly clear that he’s not returning to the mutant role that rocketed him to superstar fame. While promoting his new movie Bad Education in April, Jackman told The Daily Beast that the party is officially over as far as he and Wolverine are concerned.

“Somebody else will pick it up and run with it,” Jackman said. “It’s too good of a character not to. It’s kind of like, you’re on your way home and your friend rings you and goes, Oh, dude, a new DJ just came on and the music is awesome, are you going to come back? And you say, Sounds good but… no. They’re fine with someone else.”

(Via Inverse)

“Your public lands, our public lands — this belongs to all of us.”

That simple message, which sounds like a modified version of the iconic Woody Guthrie song “This Land Is Your Land”, was shared with me by Ryan Callaghan when he took over as Director of Conservation for MeatEater. Stepping into a new role in a pre-COVID world, Callaghan, an avid outdoorsman and backcountry guide, was charged with helping people embrace wild spaces as part of their everyday lives. He’s a hunter and fisherman, yes, but above all things, he’s a person who just wants us all to get outside.

With the COVID-19 keeping us (mostly) homebound and adding a whole range of considerations to any thought of air travel, getting outside certainly seems like the most viable way to see the world right now. Public gathering spaces are going to be closed for quite a while. Events and concerts are on hold. Museums are only digital (and are likely to see visitor caps when they do open). Meanwhile, “active recreation” permits for public lands have allowed a stir-crazy populace to finally move their bodies again.

Though it’s easy to forget, there are 247.3 million acres of Bureau of Land Management (BLM)-controlled wild spaces in this country. That’s a fair bit of elbow room in the time of social distancing. If you’re the type who wants to exert your freedoms, BLM land is the place to do it (while being safe and considerate). If you’re wary of seeing others or want to get away from a world gone mad, BLM land’s got you. In this new era, it’s perhaps the best/ safest/ most-reasonable way to scratch that travel and adventure itch in the coming months without venturing too far from home or recklessly endangering yourself or others.

Here’s a beginner’s guide for anyone thinking about a first-trip into BLM land.

What Exactly Is BLM Land Anyway?

You’ve probably heard “BLM Land” thrown around by hardcore outdoorsy types a fair bit. Besides being a legit designation for certain parts of the country, it’s also a bit of a cool kids term these days. In short, BLM stands for Bureau of Land Management and is a federal body under the Department of Interior that oversees all the public land in the United States.

That includes accessible land across each U.S. State. Generally speaking, these comprise:

• 221 Wilderness Areas
• 27 National Monuments
• 636 National Conservation Lands
• 2,400 miles of Wild and Scenic Rivers
• 6,000 miles of Historic and National Trails

It’s a vast network of land that’s held by all of us for use by all of us. But, as you can see, “BLM Land” isn’t a single thing. Which leads us to…

Don’t Expect A Single Set Of Rules For All Public Lands

While embracing the publically owned, undeveloped land in our own backyards feels like the best possible option for an adventure this summer, you can’t just show up and expect to do whatever you want. This was very true even before the pandemic. There are rules and fees for access and they can vary greatly and there may be new rules to help with social distancing or COVID-precautions.

“Wilderness can still be highly restricted in how you use it,” Callaghan tells us. “Still, if you’re willing to hike in, you’ll be shocked at just how much access you can have.”

It may sound counterintuitive, given how much we’ve said about these lands being ours to use, but certain sections of BLM land are leased out to cattle ranchers, while other parts are mineral or oil extraction sites. Is that wonderful news for the planet? Probably not. But it is the present reality, so… if you want to go mountain biking or find the perfect swimming hole you need to do the research to see where exactly that is and isn’t allowed.

For what it’s worth, the BLM does a fairly good job helping people figure out which activities are viable in which locations. There’s a whole section on their site for mountain biking riding. The same goes for caving and off-road vehicles. We understand that this feels like a lot of information to manage, but Callaghan puts it this way, “Each spot is unique and they all kind of have their own set of rules, so it’s kind of hard to talk about them in bulk.”

Obviously, a national forest in upstate New York is going to be a wholly different experience than a national forest in, say, Idaho’s backcountry where wolves, lions, and bears roam. Expect different rules to apply.

Research What’s Available Around You

“The reality is the bulk of my recreation — which I get a lot of — is really, really, really close to home,” Callaghan notes. This can be true for you too, even if you live in a big city.

The best advice is to do the research first. Where can you go? Where can you camp? Where can you swim? Where can you get food or access to a toilet? These are all valid questions that you should consider and find answers to before setting off.

The BLM website has basic information on camping rules on public land. Learn them. But to actually pinpoint the place to go to fit your needs/ desires — like a campground, trailhead, or even just a vista — head to Recreation.gov. Simply enter your town and a map will pop up with everything available around you (as seen above). From there, you can get pricing for campgrounds, points of interest near you, and most of the information you’ll need to plan anything from a day trip to a weekend to a multi-week getaway.

Just a note, campgrounds will have different rules, amenities, and prices across the board. There are also plenty of free camping areas for those willing to pack in and pack out all their gear. Considering that BLM land is truly more “wild” than US National Parks, the bar for being fully researched and prepared is higher.

Learn The Safety Rules Of Where You’re Going And Follow Those Rules

This is probably the most important aspect of using BLM lands. There are a lot of things to consider if you’re camping, hiking, climbing, cave diving, or just taking a stroll without rangers on duty. Again, the BLM website does a good job of breaking down important regulations and considerations. They cover everything from fire, river, and cave safety to water issues, hypothermia, dealing with snakes, and even what cellphone coverage to expect. Check out the “Know Before You Go” section of their site and absorb as much information as you can.

It’s important to know what flora and fauna are present in the area you plan to visit as well. No one wants to wander into a poison ivy patch or get woken up by a hungry bear. Moreover, have a solid plan for water. Do not expect to be able to draw water from streams or lakes without some sort of purification system.

A great place to find real-world information about using BLM land is Backcountry Hunters & Anglers communities. They have chapters all over the country and offer expert guidance on embracing the great outdoors while also leaning heavily into the conservation of those spaces.

Take It Slow

“I think that we have to do a little bit better job about being realistic and celebrating just getting out,” Callaghan says. “It’s not necessarily these grand adventures all the time. A lot of my wilderness experiences are less than a mile into the wilderness.”

You don’t need to climb a mountain the first time you go onto BLM land. It’s totally fine to just do a day hike to a lake or stream, drop a line in the water, and pack it in before sunset.

The point is, it’s okay to stay close to your comfort zone on your first few outings. Test the waters, see where your lines in the sand are with regards to comfort, and go from there. No one should rush you into doing anything in the wilderness that you’re not ready for. Just getting out there and breathing the clean air, surrounded by trees, can be enough to leave you feeling alive and invigorated.

Consider Getting A Pass Or Entering A Lottery

Yes, public land is open to everyone but you also can’t just walk into some places. An annual recreation pass generally gives you access to national parks and federal lands, campsites, trails, and more. They only cost $80 per year (they’re free for military and ex-military families) and make accessing a huge swath of public land much easier.

The passes are currently suspended due to the pandemic but are likely to be reissued as restrictions ease. When that does happen, you can get a pass from the USGS.

As we mentioned, there are sites under BLM control that do have restricted access. That means you’ll need a permit that sometimes those permits are tied to a yearly lottery. This covers everything from river access to canyons with a delicate natural balance that needs to be protected to ancient archeological sites to dangerous areas that you shouldn’t be walking into unless you truly know what you’re doing. You can find a list of restricted access lands on the BLM website.

Know What You Need To Bring And Leave No Trace

This seems pretty obvious. Still, plan ahead.

You’re going to need to bring food, water, and supplies in with you — even if it’s just for a day hike. Know what you need and make sure you don’t forget it at home. A good rule is to be a little more prepared than the situation demands. If you’re going to camp along a river with clearly marked trails, a few miles off the highway, you probably don’t need a satellite phone, but you should have some basic directional skills and compass knowledge. If you’re planning on starting a fire, even a small one, knowledge of fire safety protocols are a must. The phrase “just in case” is an important consideration here.

Also, it should go without saying, but don’t leave any waste. Bury your feces at least six inches deep, 200 feet from a water source. Pack out your trash, please.

Lastly, do not remove any artifacts from public lands (or anything else for that matter). Many monuments, forests, deserts, and parks contain ancient Indigenous American sites that are sacred to locals today. Sometimes those sites will be whole abandoned towns. Sometimes they’ll be rock walls covered in ancient petroglyphs. You’re not Indiana Jones. Admire. Take photos. Show respect. Don’t touch. Move on.

Keep An Open Mind

Finally, Callaghan notes that “you don’t know who you’re going to bump into out there, from whatever walk of life.” Depending on where you are and what season it is, you could run into folks hunting, fishing, riding mountain bikes, horseback riding, birding, mushroom picking, or just hanging out and drinking a beer or two. A lot of people use our public lands for a lot of reasons. All of them are valid, as long as the rules are being followed for that area.

Here’s where the “your public lands, our public lands — this belongs to all of us” quote comes to bear. Your political/ social ideology or level of outdoorsiness doesn’t give you a better claim to a single inch of BLM land than anyone else. And without a heavy ranger presence, you’ll need to navigate certain situations calmly.

In short, be considerate and compassionate, or simply don’t go. Just like in the case of the pandemic, we’re in this together.

On the flip side, keep an open mind to just how wonderful of an experience BLM land can be. Maybe you realize you don’t need a tour guide every time you leave home. Maybe you connect to new activities that change how you relate to the planet in general. Maybe you find a piece of yourself out there in the wild spaces that you’d never encountered before and grow as a result.

The truth is, COVID is going to shape our world for a long time. Everything is different now, including the way we spend our recreation hours. The opportunity to connect with wild spaces in a way that doesn’t endanger yourself or others while also opening the door to new adventures might just be one of the few silver linings of that fact.

The anticipation for the reveal of who will top this week’s Billboard Hot 100 chart has been has intense as it has been in a while. The reason is that it looked like it would be a hotly disputed contest between Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” (thanks in part to the new Beyonce remix of the song) and Doja Cat’s “Say So” (which was also boosted by a remix, featuring Nicki Minaj). Now, the leaders on the May 16-dated Hot 100 chart have been revealed, and Doja and Minaj’s tune came out on top.

This is of course a huge moment for both artists, as this is the first time either of them have had a No. 1 song on the Hot 100. Minaj previously came close to topping the chart with “Anaconda,” which peaked at No. 2, and she also has a good amount of top-10 hits to her name. Additionally, “Say So” is Minaj’s 109th song to make it onto the Hot 100, which ties her with Elvis Presley for the fourth-most of all time.

Now, as Doja fans are aware, she has a risqué promise to fulfill:

While Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” remix didn’t make it to No. 1, this is far from a loss for the rapper, as the hit still became her highest-charting song ever this week at No. 2.

Meanwhile, Post Malone’s “Circles” remains in the top 10 at No. 8, which extends its record-breaking top-10 run.

Kim Petras aims to reign in all things summer with her recent cheery number “Malibu.” With the track, Petras wanted to ease anxieties that inevitably arise in quarantine. To assist her with her goal, a host of celebrities joined in for Petras’ quarantine-style video accompanying the track.

The “Malibu” video opens with Petras in front of a brightly-colored ocean background before a clip of Paris Hilton singing the song’s hook appears on the screen. The remainder of the visual jumps between joyous snippets of various celebrities giving their best lip-synched renditions of the song. Along with Hilton, musicians and stars like Charli XCX, Jonathan Van Ness, Demi Lovato, Jessie J, and Loren Gray join in on the fun.

Ahead of the visual’s release, Petras spoke with Uproxx about her writing process on the single:

“I actually wrote it when I had never really been to anything else but the beach in Malibu. And my imagination of it was so great, but then I was like, ‘Wait, it’s just a bunch of rich people living by the ocean.’ I wanted to write a song about my imagination of it and how I wanted it to feel — I think I just haven’t been to Malibu with the right people. But this song is an ode to my imagination, like how Malibu looks on TV, to somebody who’s from Germany and how it seems in the movies and stuff like that. So it’s really romantic because I’m comparing love to my dream version of Malibu, that’s what the song is all about to me. But I would love for people to make it about anything they want to make it about.”

Watch Petras’ “Malibu” video above.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Previously on the Best and Worst of Money in the Bank: Shane McMahon defeated The Miz in a steel cage match, LARS SULLIVAN dominated, and Brock Lesnar won a Money in the Bank ladder match he wasn’t even scheduled to be in. It feels like that show happened 15 years ago now, doesn’t it?

If you haven’t watched Money in the Bank yet, go do that now. Remember that With Spandex is on Twitter, so follow it. Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter. BUY THE SHIRT.

One more thing: Hit those share buttons! Spread the word about the column on Facebook, Twitter and whatever else you use. Be sure to leave us a comment in our comment section below as well. Feel free to peruse the Money in the Bank 2020 tag page if we missed anything.

Here’s the Best and Worst of WWE Money in the Bank for May 10, 2020.

Let’s start off this year’s column with our top story,

Two People Died During The Money In The Bank Ladder Match And The Announce Team Didn’t Even CARE

In case you missed it, Thomas “Tom” Pestock, who plays “King Corbin” on the mildly unpopular WWE Friday Night Smackdown series, murdered two of his co-workers during a professional wrestling match by hurling them off a roof and into the parking lot from 85 feet up. Firstly he murdered 31-year veteran Rey Mysterio (real name Óscar Gutiérrez), then he immediately murdered Satanic kickboxer Aleister Black (real name Asmodeus). It’s a tragedy not seen in the sport since disgraced former champion Hulk Hogan knocked his opponent off the roof of Cobo Hall following their themed monster truck sumo battle at Halloween Havoc in 1995.

Remember when R-Truth got blown up and killed by MacGruber on Raw and just kept coming to work and wrestling like it didn’t even matter? Not only did that set a precedent for how WWE employees independent contractors are being treated during a global pandemic, it set the STANDARD for WWE pay-per-view in 2020. Just last month, a major match at WrestleMania ended with two characters dying and a third being buried alive. He got better. This month, the pay-per-view ends with two guys being so nonchalantly killed that the announce team doesn’t even mention it. Michael Cole pipes in to say “this is how Otis won Money in the Bank” for everyone who literally just watched it, but remains silent during multiple homicides in the workplace.

The best part of all of this is that they make a point to show us multiple times via helicopter cam that they aren’t actually fighting on the “roof” of WWE Headquarters, they’re fighting on the little raised platform in the middle of the roof that’s usually for smoke breaks and bored corporate lunches. So as soon as Mysterio and Black have plummeted to their doom we pan back to show that the spot where Corbin threw them “over the edge” has a big crash pad and a bunch of scaffolding affixed to make sure nobody dies. I’m not saying you should actually put people’s lives at risk, but when you’re a billion dollar company doing a bunch of pre-tapes, maybe don’t make such a point of showing us how fake it is? Or go in the other direction and have Graves be like, “actually Cole you can’t argue with the fact that Corbin threw Black and Mysterio over a ledge, but not THE ledge, as dressing up in costumes and fighting over a magical briefcase shouldn’t result in death.”

By the way, in case you think I’m taking this too seriously — I am — AJ Styles tweeted about how Corbin is “on the run from the law” after doing this, and Aleister Black tweeted out a picture of a ghost. Yes, this is entertainment, but the hazards are real.

Two additional notes:

• Aleister Black should stay dead but still show up to wrestle as that ghost, and wrestle full matches with a sheet over his head like he’s Casey Affleck in A Ghost Story
• they should do the Royal Rumble on the roof of WWE Headquarters, where you can only eliminate your opponent by throwing them off the building. Talk about every man for themselves!

Of Cameos And Food Fights

Almost no aspect of this match (these matches?) made sense, but I love the ongoing idea that when they aren’t performing at WWE events around the world, WWE Superstars live (often in full gear) in WWE Headquarters. It’s just a big case for Vince McMahon’s action figures. Money in the Bank cameos included Brother Love taking a shit, John Laurinaitis scooting around on a scooter in the cafeteria of WWE HQ at like 9 PM on a Sunday, someone who is definitely not Doink the Clown “cameoing” as Doink the Clown, two of four McMahons (more on them in a minute), and Paul Heyman, who received the first strike in the semi-annual “this is a show for stupid people and babies” WWE food fight. At least we got out of this one without any dessert mysteries.

Daniel Bryan And AJ Styles Vs. Dinosaurs

I’m not sure I’ll be able to phrase this like I want, but Vince McMahon in his office on a Sunday night not watching the WWE pay-per-view and vigorously hand-sanitizing after yelling at Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles for trying to do wrestling for him is the most on-the-nose meta moment since Vince screamed I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT at a live crowd as a “fictional character” participating in a “storyline.” Have you guys tried entertaining instead? Have you tried being 6-foot-4 and full of muscles?

Anyway, Vince’s cameo was pretty funny even if he looks 10 years older every time we see him now. It looked like Daniel Bryan was stepping into a tomb to fight a Draugr Overlord. My only real complaint is that AJ Styles didn’t launch into an explanation of how Vince’s Tyrannosaurus skull isn’t real, and that the devil put dinosaur bones in the ground to trick us. Into the flat, flat, 4,000-year-old Earth.

Side note: It didn’t amount to much in the long run, but my favorite part of the match might’ve been Styles seeing a poster of The Undertaker and revealing that he’s got MAJOR PTSD from, you know, being put into a grave by The Undertaker and covered in dirt until he died. That manifests itself into him thinking (?) Undertaker is randomly in one of the rooms, when he’s clearly off somewhere showing a WWE camera crew his latest dog whistle. I wish they’d had an arm reach out of the casket and fist-bump Aleister Black, though.

Dana Brooke Is A Fucking Moron

The stupidest moment of this entire thing is when Dana Brooke bursts into the conference room and pulls down a Money in the Bank briefcase decoration, thinking she’s won the match. Stephanie McMahon (in a very clear “person not in the room at the time of filming” cameo) more or less Skypes in to tell Dana that the real Money in the Bank briefcase is on the roof. You know, like they announced several weeks ago, and have been saying 15 times per episode ever since. Maybe the cartoons at the top of the show screaming GO ON THE ROOF were too subtle? Dana just sits there staring at the briefcase like, “whaaaat,” until Carmella can calmly walk in, remove a picture of herself from the wall, and smash it over Dana’s head. Dana, being dumber than a shit full of bricks, rejoins the match in time for the food fight but never removes the picture:

Dana Brooke’s having a killer 2020. Added to the Smackdown Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania and then removed due to being quarantined, then added to the Money in the Bank match so they can have a character too stupid to know how it works even after almost a month of explanation. At Backlash they should put her in a tables match and have her try to win it by jumping through a window.

Asuka’s Dance Fighting Was Delightful

I couldn’t decide which GIF to use here, so in addition to her weird elevator dance here’s her weird balcony dance and her weird lobby dance. I’m not sure who decided Asuka’s character should be “Japanese woman who drank so much coffee she’s freaking out, unable to clearly communicate, and leaking snot out of her entire face,” but it works. And hey, speaking of Asuka …

Here Are Your Winners

Asuka becomes Miz Money in the Bank after fending off last-minute competition from King Corbin, who doesn’t seem to understand that there are two briefcases and two sides of a ladder so theoretically you and someone in the other match could be up there at the same time but not be enemies. At least she didn’t have to kill anybody for it.

Later, after the murders, Corbin and AJ Styles are battling for the men’s briefcase when that spoony bard Elias shows up and Jeff Jarretts him in the back with a guitar. Styles can’t hold onto the briefcase, possibly due to rigor mortis, and drops it into Otis’ hands. I think NFL referees would say Styles “had control” of the briefcase before dropping it and is the rightful winner of the match, but whatever, Otis won a ladder match without ever climbing a ladder. He had a big food fight, though!

So that leaves us with Asuka and Otis née Dozovic as your Monies in the Bank. I hope Asuka cashes in on Charlotte Flair and becomes NXT Women’s Champion again. Anything but Becky Lynch’s reign ending without someone beating her in a real match. Otis has said in interviews that he wanted to use the Money in the Bank briefcase to cash-in on the Tag Team Championship, but that seems shortsighted. Lucha House Party got a title shot by interrupting one promo and saying “lucha lit” twice. You can get tag title shots easier than you can get COVID tests. The pessimist in me feels like this is going to lead to Mandy Rose manipulating him into giving it to HER for a women’s title shot — whether or not you can cross gender lines with the wrong colored briefcase is beside the point, as WWE has established that none of the rules matter anymore, it’s just whatever they say it is — thereby proving that women are catty and jealous and “nice guys” are easily manipulated dopes. Who knew a billionaire in his 70s who struggled with physical and emotional abuse as a child in 1940s North Carolina would have a dark view of the world?

Even worse: Otis loses the briefcase to Dolph Ziggler somehow, and Dolph cashes in just to get powerslammed by Braun Strowman. GET THE FANS BACK SOON PLEASE THIS IS NOT FUN.

Also On This Pay-Per-Vew

… because the Money in the Bank ladder match squared is the only thing that mattered!

Smackdown Presents: Additional Smackdown

Jeff Hardy has returned (without ‘No More Words,’ sadly) and gets a competitive but relatively easy win over Cesaro. Cesaro’s so good at professional wrestling that he can never be its star, merely the Good Hand they send out to carry people who aren’t as good as him (which is almost everyone) to watchable, functional matches. He’s like Barry Horowitz if Barry Horowitz was 6-foot-5, ripped, stronger than Mark Henry, faster than Rey Mysterio, and willing to do literally anything they ask of him. Totally makes sense why that guy still wouldn’t be the focus of your show after eight years.

Anyway, Jeff is cool but is Orange Cassidy levels of damaged by there being no crowd in attendance to react to him. Drink every time the announce team mentions Jeff’s “redemption story.” You’ll be dead from alcohol poisoning before he hits the Swanton.

The fatal four-way for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship might’ve been the most WWE thing of the night, as New Day lost a bunch of non-title matches as champions only to retain with the titles on the line at the pay-per-view. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. The match is fun, though, although it doesn’t accomplish much that the eight-man tag from Smackdown didn’t already.

Only so much you can do with this quarantined version of the tag division, which might actually be bigger than it was pre-quarantine, and is at least a little better than what’s going on on Raw. John Morrison is still better against luchadores than he is against any other kind of wrestler, and hey, at least we got through this pay-per-view without Lacey Evans winning Money in the Bank and Forgotten Sons winning the tag titles to pair with “you’re poor because you don’t WANT IT BAD ENOUGH” Braun Strowman on the ultimate Fox-friendly Smackdown.

And then, Tamina.

Tamina Snuka’s a pretty low-hanging fruit at this point between her random pushes coinciding with whenever there’s new bad news about her dad and the fact that she looks like she’s going to throw up every time she has to do anything but calmly walk forward, so I’ll save you a bunch of, “Tamina wrestles like a confused deer that was just hit by a car,” jokes. Bayley’s good and excels at getting great matches out of low-quality opponents, but even she can’t be expected to warp the very fabric of our existence.

RIP Tamina’s push, March 2020 – May 2020. I look forward to 2 1/2 years from now when she randomly shows up again and they tell us how dominant she is!

Bray Wyatt, who is a genius:

• decides to wrestle a Universal Championship match as the haunted children’s show host who doesn’t really want to fight, as opposed to the unstoppable, teleporting shadow demon whose only known weakness is getting gently tackled by a sweaty grandpa. It’s like when Finn Bálor would break out The Demon for a mid-card match against Baron Corbin and then be like, “title match against Brock Lesnar? I should be fine without using the immense power at my disposal. Wait until he sees these red underpants!”
• believes that Braun Strowman briefly wearing a sheep mask means he’s fully and completely brainwashed. This leaves him open for a powerslam, and not even a surprise one straight out of the hug … a powerslam AFTER the hug, and after Strowman has both pushed him away and dramatically revealed that this plastic ruminant face doesn’t make him want to stop being world champion and follow around a semi-reformed swampbilly cult leader with emotional problems.

Bray Wyatt:

He should try brainwashing Dana Brooke. He could probably do it with a bar of soap.

Raw Was Also Here

In a match that definitely needed to be on pay-per-view, the announced bout of MVP vs. R-Truth is hilariously baited-and-switched into a Bobby Lashley squash. Truth’s pretty funny during it. I feel bad that there’s legitimately nothing for him to do now that WWE excitedly put the 24/7 Championship on a famous person and then immediately lost him forever because he has more important things to do. Maybe he should get fired and go enter the Interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship tournament?

Only Seth Rollins would be cool enough to start doing a Jesus gimmick and get rid of an entrance theme called, ‘The Second Coming.’

In a vacuum (and probably outside of one, if we’re being honest), Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship was easily the best match of the night. They went full indie wrestling with it, countering and kicking out of finishers and ending with a strike exchange that makes them repeatedly stumble backwards into the ropes and bounce back until someone hits the finish. I know this is a tired thing to read already, but this would’ve probably killed in front of an actual crowd, as it’s truly futile to try to do compelling near-falls in silence. The foundation of the near-fall is in getting a live crowd to buy it, go along with it, and react to it being false. It’s the wrestling equivalent of a tree falling in the woods and EVERYONE being there, but nobody hearing it. I can’t wait for live crowds to return and give these matches some motivational context. The last couple of months have been an instructional series on how much professional wrestling relies on its relationship to the audience.

I liked the handshake bit at the end, too. It was unexpected, which was nice. I also hope that the rub of Rollins’ gimmick is that he starts as an egotistical, opportunistic “false prophet” but eventually sees the light, and thanks to sunk cost fallacy is stuck being an actual Christ figure. Matt Hardy’s not the only wrestler on the road to Damascus!

(Or he’ll Mutual Respect his way into a tag team match on Monday as McIntyre’s partner and immediately betray him to set up another match exactly like this at Backlash, I don’t know, I’m trying.)

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night

AddMayne

poppadux

If WWE wanted to do a throwaway MITB winner, I feel like they missed an opportunity. They should have given it to R Truth and then had him use his cash in on a shot at the 247 title

Taylor Swish

Asuka won and prevented Corbin from winning. This is like if Fauci found a cure and impeached Trump for good all on the same day.

EvilDucky

Seth should use that submission more often, he could call it Cross Face Jesus

FeltLuke

Bayley and Sasha loudly booing Tamina is the most reaction Tamina’s gotten in years.

Z-Pack Chopra

The review has confirmed: AJ Styles did not have complete control of the briefcase and make a wrestling motion, is it therefore not a catch.

SexCauldron

AJ sees dinosaur skull on Vince’s wall: “what’s that? some kind of big turkey?”

See, not that hard to put on a mask, is it Florida?

AJ Dusman

I wouldn’t say Tamina has known “leg” issues. I’d say she has known “can’t wrestle for shit” issues.

Clay Quartermain

This match has had more hallway fights than a Netflix Marvel show

Designated Piledriver

Please cut to Big Show catching both of them.
”Guys, I couldn’t let this happen again.”

That’s it for this year’s Best and Worst of Money in the Bank column. Backlash with a 25% capacity crowd is going to feel like WrestleMania 18, isn’t it?

As always, we appreciate you for reading and getting this far. Sorry the shows aren’t better, and more conducive to actual observations and well-written jokes. If you’re able to give us a share on social media it’d help us stay in business, and a comment down below with help keep everyone engaged and interested in the show about fat jokes and falling deaths. Make sure you’re here throughout the week for our coverage of the rest of the weekly shows, which you definitely don’t need to watch between now and Backlash. Which is called “Backlash” even though it’s not happening right after WrestleMania, and isn’t called “Payback” despite Payback also being a former PPV and the thing the mysterious hacker keeps promising will happen soon.

OH WELL, SEE YOU THEN.

Last week, Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber dropped a video for their new collaboration, “Stuck With U.” The visual featured submitted footage from a bunch of fans dancing to the song, including more than a handful of famous faces (but not Carole Baskin). Now the pair have decided to commemorate Mother’s Day with a new video for the song, which focuses on the bond between mothers and their children.

On Sunday, Bieber took to Twitter to ask his fans, “Please send @AlfredoFlores your #stuckwithuMom videos. Happy Mother’s Day :).” He later tweeted, “Hope everyone had the best Mother’s Day . Thank you for sending in all your #stuckwithumom videos. Me and the team are going to give you something special tomorrow to remember this moment.” After the video was released, he wrote, “It’s out! Thanks for sending in all the #stuckwithumom videos. Thousands of you did. Really special. Made this for you guys and all the amazing moms and one special dad. #stuckwithu Mother’s Day video is out now Thanks.”

Grande also marked Mother’s Day by sharing an adorable old photo of her and her mother kissing.

Bieber previously noted that “proceeds from the sales and streams of #StuckwithU will fund grants and scholarships for children of first responders who have been impacted by COVID-19.” So, watch the Mother’s Day edition “Stuck With U” video above.

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Products so good you may even win awards for your organization skills. Monica Geller would be so proud.

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