
Ted Cruz never misses an opportunity to take a cheap shot, even though the tactic generally backfires on him. That was the case when Cruz, a self-declared The Princess Bride superfan, came for Westley actor Cary Elwes, who mopped the floor with the Texas Republican. And Ted, who spends way too much time on social media, decided to come for comedian Patton Oswalt, who announced that he pulled multiple tour dates (in Florida and Utah) from venues that refused to require proof of vaccination and a negatory COVID test for audience members.
While retweeting an article from The Blaze (a conservative outlet), Ted decided to get snippy with a boilerplate comeback: “Both of his fans were disappointed.”
Both of his fans were disappointed. https://t.co/2JdepUcLjh
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) September 9, 2021
This presented a huge onslaught of reactions from Patton fans (it must be noted that he bests Cruz with 4.7 million Twitter followers as opposed to 4.5 million), but first, here are Patton’s (weary) replies, which included shot at Ted’s Cancun fiasco and “Ted, you Tweeted this at 1am. Put the phone down and return to liquid form for a few hours.” The A.P. Bio star also couldn’t resist firing a shot at Ted’s notorious (apparent) porn “like” and the January 6 hearings.
(sigh)
Okay Ted, here we go…Not as disappointed as Texas was when you cut your Cancun vacation short and came home. https://t.co/kY3nXZuQSB
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 9, 2021
Ted, you Tweeted this at 1am. Put the phone down and return to liquid form for a few hours
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 9, 2021
Ted, my fans are all at home, waiting to see you at the January 6th hearings.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 9, 2021
I’m so flattered you took time from your porn scrolling for this, Ted.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 9, 2021
Well, that was fun. As always Ted, you’re a friendless, cowardly embarrassment and your beard looks stupid.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 9, 2021
However, the real smackdown came from Patton fans that piled onto Ted’s tweet to ask why he’s making light of a pandemic. People also noted the difference in followers between Ted and Patton, and they wondered why Ted isn’t focusing his energy on, you know, the job that he was elected to do.
Imagine being Ted Cruz, who can’t get people to a free book signing at Borders bookstore, and thinking this tweet is some kind of dig at Patton Oswalt, a person who is successful enough that he can cancel five shows on his nationwide tour without a second thought.
— Populists aren’t progressive (@singwithCB) September 9, 2021
Central Texas just ran out of ICU beds for first time since COVID-19 pandemic began. And instead of doing something about it, Ted Cruz picks fights with a comedian . Joke’s on Texas, I guess.
— pwithm11 (@pwtham11) September 9, 2021
It is *amazing* how bad you are at this. pic.twitter.com/9gVxTkJE3P
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) September 9, 2021
He’s got more fans than you – 4.7>4.5
pic.twitter.com/srhkq9blG3
— DaHollafish (@dahollafish) September 9, 2021
— Madame Blubberthigh (@LostMyInvite) September 9, 2021
Glad you have time to ponder about funny tweets all day on OUR dime while your constituents are dealing with actual real life problems.
— 𝐓𝐡𝐞 LiB (@HappyBitchFace) September 9, 2021
Do you not have anything better to do, than to post on Twitter about a comedian who does not effect you in the least? Your constituents deserve better than this.
— Andy Olson (@WedgeBodySurfer) September 9, 2021
Are you disappointed that 1,557 people in your state died of COVID in the last seven days – an average of 222 a day? Or is that okay with you? Any comments about that?
— TheValuesVoter (@TheValuesVoter) September 9, 2021
Disappointed like your constituents were when you abandoned them to enjoy the sunny beaches of Cancun during a state of emergency?
— The Lincoln Watchman
(@LincolnWatchman) September 9, 2021
650K Americans have died, 1500 more are dying/day, Texas leads America in infections—and @TedCruz instead mocks @pattonoswalt for caring about the health & safety of his fellow Americans more than he cares about making money.
It’s called integrity. No wonder Cruz can’t relate. pic.twitter.com/wq2U6B8yrn
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@QasimRashid) September 9, 2021
The thought of a milky, spineless swamp creature like Ted Cruz insulting @pattonoswalt for caring about people’s health is going to grate on me for a good while.
— Gail Simone (@GailSimone) September 9, 2021
Fair enough. Also, this:
My god just do your job for once
— Jake Torres (@sjaketorres) September 9, 2021
Why are you tweeting this at 12:30 am?! Don’t you have a job to do?
— Krista Allen (@krista515all) September 9, 2021



(@LincolnWatchman)